Twisted Sister

19 Oct

I am deep in the bowels of a federal grant right now. Stressful, but not entirely unfamiliar territory.

The Program Director with whom I am working on this grant called me up last week and simply said to me right after hello–“I have decided that you are one twisted individual!”  Well, that may be true, but I had to ask her which body of evidence had led her to this conclusion.

She said that working on this particular federal grant day and night was just about killing her and that she realized that I basically live like this all of the time.

I get that a lot. The “how can you live like this?” question. The short answer is simply that I do. It is a stressful way to live, running from deadline to deadline. But there is some comfort in having a strict cut off date and time. Once that day passes, I am done. I am already on to the next thing. There is no looking back–I just don’t have the time.

I am one of those people who could belabor a narrative to death. I could hang on to it and rework it much longer than it needs to be. A deadline is nature’s way of making you let go. To let something be enough.

Because ready or not, that date and time is approaching.


One Response to “Twisted Sister”

  1. Becca October 19, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    “A deadline is nature’s way of making you let go. To let something be enough.”

    And this is why I work SO much better under a deadline. Deadlines are like mini OCD treatments. 😉

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